(Ok, I have busy times ahead and had promised myself I wouldn't blog again until May-end, but am so upset with a recent piece of news I think I'll keep brooding on it endlessly unless I get it out of my system.)
I just discovered that My Crush (the one I've written about in earlier posts, The Pain of Having a Secret Crush and My Never-Ending Crush) is a SMOKER!!!
The horror, the pain, the torture of having this piece of information is too much for my delicate constitution. I've never, NEVER liked a guy who smoked. In fact, the minute I learned a guy smoked (which was always in the early stages of meeting him, as smokers usually do so publicly), I'd never think about him romantically in the remotest sense. Of course, I have many friends who smoke, and I'm not prejudiced in that fundamentalist kind of way. It's just that when it comes to relationships, I think too "healthily" (call it neurotic if you want) and the last thing I want is to find true love and then have the love of my life die of lung cancer 10 years from now. I suppose you can partly blame Lurlene McDaniel for this phobia...I read too many of her books at the tender age of 11-14 years (For the vast majority of you who may not know Lurlene McDaniel - she always writes incredibly romantic stories in which one person is affected with a terminal illness. Needless to say, the last few chapters are teary messes for the average female reader. However, I think she deserves a Nobel for encouraging romantic young ladies to become medical researchers albeit motivated by the good of their future love lives.)
(Awkward pause, thinks for a while.)
Naaaah...I can't date/marry/live with a smoker. Farewell My Crush! (Easier said than done.)
I just discovered that My Crush (the one I've written about in earlier posts, The Pain of Having a Secret Crush and My Never-Ending Crush) is a SMOKER!!!
The horror, the pain, the torture of having this piece of information is too much for my delicate constitution. I've never, NEVER liked a guy who smoked. In fact, the minute I learned a guy smoked (which was always in the early stages of meeting him, as smokers usually do so publicly), I'd never think about him romantically in the remotest sense. Of course, I have many friends who smoke, and I'm not prejudiced in that fundamentalist kind of way. It's just that when it comes to relationships, I think too "healthily" (call it neurotic if you want) and the last thing I want is to find true love and then have the love of my life die of lung cancer 10 years from now. I suppose you can partly blame Lurlene McDaniel for this phobia...I read too many of her books at the tender age of 11-14 years (For the vast majority of you who may not know Lurlene McDaniel - she always writes incredibly romantic stories in which one person is affected with a terminal illness. Needless to say, the last few chapters are teary messes for the average female reader. However, I think she deserves a Nobel for encouraging romantic young ladies to become medical researchers albeit motivated by the good of their future love lives.)
Anyway, this guy SMOKES, and I'm discovering this after two years of having a crush on him. I think the delay in getting this vital piece of information was partly caused by him being such a horrid recluse that it's impossible to catch a glimpse of him for months at a time, despite us being in the same class. Most of what I know about him, is from his friend's wall posts on Facebook (Note: He's not even my friend on Facebook, his friend is!), and when I saw this tragic post by his friend encouraging him not to smoke, I was shell-shocked. (Well, the post was tragic in the literal sense too - one of those 'lame joke' viral images in which a dead body was being compared to a cigarette - and his friend had tagged him in it, saying "You should stop smoking.")
I'm heartbroken and yet wondering if this painful piece of information has arrived suddenly to show me the way out of this one-sided attraction. Maybe the time has come to say goodbye to this crush.
Or my rigid values.
(Awkward pause, thinks for a while.)
Naaaah...I can't date/marry/live with a smoker. Farewell My Crush! (Easier said than done.)
LOL :) a break up again ?
ReplyDeleteWell, at least for this reason, lets see whether we have a reduction in number of smokers...
enjoyed it ...
Unfortunately yes, another heartfelt disappointment :(
DeleteGlad you enjoyed it! :)
Atleast this might discourage smokers. I share the same view. Good post ya :-)
ReplyDeleteAlas, I've been vocal about this but haven't been too successful at converting smokers into non-smokers with my avoidance of them...hopefully by READING this someone might change :)
DeleteThanks for the compliment!
Don't you just love how (non)relationships teach us what we really do and don't want. Wait till you're 42 with a flipping MA in Mental Health specializing in Marriage and Family Therapy... and you try getting back into the relationship world - there are many more things than smoking (and that is one of my deal-breakers too).
ReplyDeleteI share your Crush-ality - unfortunately I go on long 8 hour excursions with mine... and all those damn feelings just sit and rumble through me EVERY TIME! Maybe I should take up smoking (... thinking...) - it certainly seems to give people lots of work breaks. Nice post - thanks for keeping me young!
Thanks for the words of wisdom - can't wait till I know what exactly it is that I want from a relationship and be part of a good one! I'm relieved to know there are kindred souls on this crushality journey :)
DeleteAnd thanks for the compliment!
hey just want to tell that even i am against smoking ,but judging a person on his smoking status aint fair.most of my friends are smokers but none of them deserve such hatred by ladies..lolz
ReplyDeleteanyways a person who smokes has only a weak will power , does not mean he is not worth your love..anyways good job for promoting "anti smoking"...
I swear this is NOT hatred - it is merely an aversion (maybe it can be called discrimination?) against the associated health problems of smoking and a fear of death. I know you're correct in saying a person who smokes has weak willpower - but if he doesn't care/love enough about me to try to stop, then is he fit to be my 'romantic hero'? Isn't that reason enough to reconsider liking him?
DeleteThanks for the feedback! :) Btw I'm in no way associated with any antismoking campaign - I just think smoking kicks the romance out of love!
i don't know whats the case with you , but this has happened to me in my school days where even i fell in love with a girl without even knowing her much...but ultimately when i got to know her , she was completely opposite to "what i expect" in a girl ...and the conversations with her did not fascinate me...so just would like to suggest , don't prejudge a person and its better to fall in love with someone after you know him completely ...its time we grow up...these teenage crushes and infatuation are not a long term investment..lolz
Deletehope i didn't offend your feelings
What you can try to do is convince him to give up? But you need to be a friend, first.
ReplyDeleteYup - and all attempts to be his friend have been met with passive resistance. Trust me, he's weird. :/
DeleteThanks for the comment!